I've recommended Josh Harris' Stop Dating the Church since it came out. He's posted on an issue I find all too common - college students who have little interest in the local church. These are friends who love Jesus but live under the (false) assumption that they don't have time or need the local church. Josh posts on why that's not true and what might be leading students to think that way:
Today I think many people justify their attitude toward the church based on what is common. The author I read essentially said that it's uncommon for college students to be strongly rooted in one church. It wasn't his experience and since he's closer to his college buddies than any of the people at churches he hopped between it's proof that his wandering was time well spent.
What isn't addressed in this description is the question of whether this approach is pleasing to God. Could it be that such a lax attitude toward the church is a form of selfishness? Could it be that it's arrogant for a college student to view the life and community of a local church as offering him little more than a free meal? Is it proud for a 20-year-old to assume that he doesn't need to spiritual nourishment, mutual encouragement and support that a church provides? Is what someone describes as noble searching and exploration really just disobedience to God's clear commands?
And could it be that some of the best reasons for being part of a church is not just for what you can get out of it, but what you can give to it? The writer whose article I read stated that he didn't miss much in the years he spent wandering from the church. That's debatable. But even if it's accurate, I would venture to say that the church missed something from his absence. How could a local congregation have benefitted from this young man investing his gifts and talents in their church community?
Here's the crazy thing for me (because I am the selfish lazy college student who does nothing to help any local church), I've heard similar things to this before and yet I still don't have a passion at all for the local church, and I know I'm wrong and I know its wrong, but I don't even want to change anything. I'm a very screwed up person.
I always love the preaching (whether its my dad or you) and yet it is a real burden to get myself to church on Sunday morning, and I'm not totally sure why...I think it's a number of reasons (I stay up way too late, I dread awkward conversations, I rarely ever get to have meaningful conversations with people at church about Jesus, and when I do they can feel forced and mechanical compared to when I'm with my best friends, I can enjoy Jesus, read my Bible, and listen to sermons by myself, etc. --yes, I know how absurd that all sounds, and I've heard Mark Dever explain for 10 hours why that's stupid--) but I don't know.......I don't have anything helpful to add really
I just don't look forward to church, it is almost always a burden to get there and I feel like I'm doing it out of obligation so people won't get mad at me...like I said, I'm a very screwed up person and I know its not right, but I could probably write a small book right now on reasons I should go to church, and for some reason nothing seems to be helping.
My problem is desire. If I desired fellowship with believers more than late nights with friends and sleeping in, then guess what? I would be at church every Sunday.
Posted by: Mark M. | July 22, 2008 at 03:50 AM
Mark - you're certainly not alone. This probably isn't the forum to talk about your situation but you know where to find me if you want to talk.
Posted by: Matt Adair | July 22, 2008 at 09:43 PM