One of the unintended consequences of teaching our children to pursue holiness is that they can begin to expect or assume that everyone they come into contact with has grown up walking that same path.
Case in point - watching something die in the heart of a student who finds out that his girlfriend or her boyfriend has previous sexual experience. Mind you, this took place before this particular relationship had begun, so we're not talking about betrayal within the relationship.
But the situation is no less devastating - the dream of a first kiss or first touch dies with that confession. But my greater concern is that somehow our parenting has traded in the gospel for religion. To the degree that we not only call our children to personal holiness but (unintentionally) demand the same for their friends or even future spouses, are we discounting the transforming power of grace?
Is the young woman who has been changed by the gospel, leading her to confess to her fiancee that she has a sexual history - is she now damaged goods, suffering from evangelical leprosy, unfit to be loved by someone who grew up dreaming of a virginal bride? Can any good Christian girl stay together with a guy who confesses that he struggles with porn or same-sex attraction?